This writing dog is an urbanite. I live close to downtown St. Paul on a hill named for the Cathedral at the eastern end of my street. Life is good here. My humans and I have wonderful neighbors who are always ready with a kind word and a scratch (for me – my humans aren’t so much for being scratched.) At this writing, summer is in full bloom and my street is all abustle with shoppers, restaurant diners, and pet owners walking their dogs in the beautiful weather.
When I am out for my walks, I marvel at the variety of sites and sounds in this area we call Selby/Dale. Of course, being a scent hound, my nose is ever to the grindstone of tracking things that smell good to me. Lately, this includes:
1) Rabbits: LOVE them and would like to bring one home as a toy – unfortunately, am never allowed close enough to capture
2) Squirrels: DO NOT love them but do believe they deserve to be terrorized – am happy to do my part
3) Food wrappers and other inanimate objects (I’m talking about litter, people): smell FANTASTIC – I use these as a way to expand my culinary horizons
While I enjoy them immensely, each of these olfactory treats has become a neighborhood pest in its own right. Squirrels and rabbits are digging up gardens as the litter de-beautifies my otherwise glorious neighborhood.
Being an environmental advocate (I strongly believe we should have an environment), I did some research on the effects of litter. At the risk of sounding Al Goresque, I invite you to check out this information from the California waste management bulletin:
– A glass bottle takes approximately 1 million years to decompose
– An aluminum can takes 200 – 500 years
– A cigarette butt takes 2 to 5 years
Sorry to be harsh, but I blame you humans for this. I do not eat fast food, smoke, or drink beer – so I know the trash ain’t mine. What I do know is that it’s not good for me, my canine counterparts, or my human neighbors.
For those of you who are old enough to remember, I remind you of a TV public service announcement that debuted on Earth Day, 1971. Remember Native American actor Chief Iron Eyes Cody and his famous teardrop? The tagline read: "People Start Pollution. People can stop it." It was memorable, it was manipulative, and, it was repeated in 1998. The new headline, “Back By Popular Neglect” brought a strong message about litter prevention and individual responsibility. (If you are not old enough to remember this, ask anyone over the age of 40 – the famous teardrop was guilted into our long term memory.)
Please people – clean up. When you’re out and see trash just pick one thing up and put it in the nearest trash can. It does wonders for your waistline and builds all kinds of lovely karma. Whether or not it is your mess, I ask you to think about keeping me safe, giving yourself something beautiful to look at – and preserving our neighborhood pride.
Until next time, I’m Selby and I never want to see that TV commercial again. See you on the Avenue.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Sunday, July 1, 2007
On Minnesota weather.
People, it’s early July and it is h-o-t outside.
I am a Minnesota dog which means, like my human counterparts, I can get a bit preoccupied with the weather. It’s easy to do here because, as we all know, if you don’t like it right now, “wait five minutes and it will change.”
Well, I’ve been waiting more than five minutes and this heat just won’t break. I’m resigned to lying by the fan and eating ice cubes. That’s why I have to find cheap entertainment – like eavesdropping.
Being a most curious canine, my ears stay tuned to conversations outside my window. Things I’ve recently overheard: “Damn global warming,” “Sure is hot today,” and, my personal favorite, “Hot enough for ya?” (My human once responded to a co-worker, “Why no, I’d like it to be even warmer so that I could barely move at all.” That was met with a blank stare.)
Sometimes, entertaining me includes thinking of the things I just don’t get about you humans. Here’s one. It’s a zillion degrees in the shade (yes, quite hot enough for me) and, all over the city, you are cooking something called “hotdogs” on a fire in the backyard. Folks, have you looked at me? I am a dog. I am hot. I am not particularly appetizing. In fact, historically speaking, hotdogs have not ever been appetizing. Check this out:
In 1836 a New York newspaper declared, "Sausages have fallen in price one half, in New York, since the dog killers have commenced operations."
That is just plain nasty.
If you are someone who enjoys cooking the little darlings over an open flame, please call them something else. You can say “frankfurters” after Frankfurt, Germany, where they make them out of pork or “wieners” after Vienna, Austria, (“Wien” in German) where they use a mixture of pork and beef. Call them whatever you want, but don’t use the word hotdog in my presence.
Better yet, eat some cold food. Google “cold summer meals” and you will see a doggone lot of recipes geared to get you away from an open flame. Or, if you want a real treat, walk over to Mississippi Market for a smoothie or Great Harvest Bakery where rumor has it they’re going to start selling ice cream.
Whatever you decide, it seems like it’s going to be a whole lot of five minutes before this weather changes. Enjoy, because in a few months I’ll be asking if it’s cold enough for ya.
Until next time, I’m Selby and I am a hot dog. Keep that mustard away from me.
I am a Minnesota dog which means, like my human counterparts, I can get a bit preoccupied with the weather. It’s easy to do here because, as we all know, if you don’t like it right now, “wait five minutes and it will change.”
Well, I’ve been waiting more than five minutes and this heat just won’t break. I’m resigned to lying by the fan and eating ice cubes. That’s why I have to find cheap entertainment – like eavesdropping.
Being a most curious canine, my ears stay tuned to conversations outside my window. Things I’ve recently overheard: “Damn global warming,” “Sure is hot today,” and, my personal favorite, “Hot enough for ya?” (My human once responded to a co-worker, “Why no, I’d like it to be even warmer so that I could barely move at all.” That was met with a blank stare.)
Sometimes, entertaining me includes thinking of the things I just don’t get about you humans. Here’s one. It’s a zillion degrees in the shade (yes, quite hot enough for me) and, all over the city, you are cooking something called “hotdogs” on a fire in the backyard. Folks, have you looked at me? I am a dog. I am hot. I am not particularly appetizing. In fact, historically speaking, hotdogs have not ever been appetizing. Check this out:
In 1836 a New York newspaper declared, "Sausages have fallen in price one half, in New York, since the dog killers have commenced operations."
That is just plain nasty.
If you are someone who enjoys cooking the little darlings over an open flame, please call them something else. You can say “frankfurters” after Frankfurt, Germany, where they make them out of pork or “wieners” after Vienna, Austria, (“Wien” in German) where they use a mixture of pork and beef. Call them whatever you want, but don’t use the word hotdog in my presence.
Better yet, eat some cold food. Google “cold summer meals” and you will see a doggone lot of recipes geared to get you away from an open flame. Or, if you want a real treat, walk over to Mississippi Market for a smoothie or Great Harvest Bakery where rumor has it they’re going to start selling ice cream.
Whatever you decide, it seems like it’s going to be a whole lot of five minutes before this weather changes. Enjoy, because in a few months I’ll be asking if it’s cold enough for ya.
Until next time, I’m Selby and I am a hot dog. Keep that mustard away from me.
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