On being a dog.

It’s interesting, this being a dog.

On one hand, we’re “man’s best friend” (pardon the gender reference). Who wouldn’t want this? A best friend who is fed and housed and exercised and, if you’re lucky like me, scratched and cuddled every day by three kids.

On the other hand, there’s a lot of negative connotation out there: going to the dogs, dog tired, doggy bag (never shared with me), dog’s dinner, dog eat dog (not even true – only the occasional sniff) and, my personal favorite, a dog’s life. Check this out:

dog's life. n. Slang. A miserably unhappy existence. This expression was first recorded in a 16th-century manuscript and alludes to the miserable subservient existence of dogs during this era. By the 1660s there was a proverb: "It's a dog's life, hunger and ease."

Are you kidding me? Let’s do a short comparison. Today, I strolled down the avenue sharing my name, chased squirrels, ate food, slept, and repeated the loop. Multiple times.

My human got up extra early to walk me, fed me, spent a whole bunch of time answering emails and grumbling, put on uncomfortable clothing, rushed out of the house so as not to miss the bus, spent a lot of hours in an office building, came home, made dinner, fed me again, walked me again, did laundry, then went to sleep.

I ask you: Who is the dog?

St. Paul-ites, summer is approaching and I want to see some changes. Here are my tips for having a dog’s life of a summer:

1) Explore your neighborhood. I find it fascinating to do this with my nose about ½ inch off the ground, but follow your own particular style.
2) Meet a neighbor. Sniffing each other’s backside is completely optional.
3) Take a nap. I don’t want to hear “but, I have to work.” It’s not that interesting anyway, and you know it. Just take a nap.
4) Chase a squirrel. Seriously. They are a nuisance and deserve to be chased.
5) Eat some food. I enjoy “Newman’s Own” but I also understand that there are some pretty fantastic restaurants in this town. Enjoy them. (Don’t pretend the doggy bag is for your dog.)
6) Repeat the loop. Multiple times.

Have a dog’s life, people. Until next time, I’m Selby, and I’ll just be repeating the loop. See you on the avenue.